Someone once sent me this piece and made me realize how love can be such a beautiful destruction. Its almost like building your walls so high only for someone to come and destroy everything but instead of having a sense of anger you actually feel relieved because these walls were keeping you away from the world.
Was walking to work and a thought came to my mind. Love them as you love yourself. You will never love someone else unless you love yourself. And also maybe the problem is actually how we love ourselves. We hurting inside, looking in mirrors and seeing broken reflections and lowkey we want closure. We cant deal with the messes we have become so we look deep into others to find their broken reflections. And in a way we want someone else to fix us. BUT that doesnt work because we are all broken reflections. And whenever you look into someone else you will just see the same thing. Only when you see the beauty and love in yourself, is when you will see the beauty and love in others.
Loving him was purposely walking on thorns rather than the fine grass, it was flying so high just to hit the ground, it was driving in the wrong direction when you know that it leads to a dead end. Loving him was listening to a song in a completely different language on repeat, trying to understand the lyrics, it was filling your system with smoke instead of love and covering your wrists with scars instead of bracelets. Loving him was feeling chains around your throat as they tighten when you’re supposed to wear tiaras around your head, it was holding onto a cactus for help in a storm to stop the waves from taking you away. Loving him was going on a voyage in an endless ocean, it was entering a labyrinth with no way out, it was standing under a tree during a thunderstorm. Loving him came in waves and I thought that I could swim until the water entered my lungs and suffocated me. Loving him came in dark, sleepless nights you spent while waiting for him to turn up at your door (but he never does).
Loving him was like playing with the fire that you thought would reincarnate you but instead turned you into the ashes on the pyre.
Loving him was was like the hue of the sky carrying a hint of pink, slowing turning into the ruby red running down your fingers while playing with broken dreams. It wasn’t wishing to learn to drive a car when you’re sixteen but instead wishing one would hit you.
Loving him was painful, it was destroying me. He lowkey hurt me more than making me happy. I made her unhappy. My hat off to you. Now Im just another number and a good story to tell”
And that is the legacy I have left. After all was said and done. These where the words she had to say.
We causing each other pain not because we want to. But only because we do not know how to really love ourselves. You need to understand yourself, love yourself before loving others. Very vital